I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
well you can't waste a boner
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
