420 ftw
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
