I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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