had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
this is an emotional support booty call
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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