I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
