elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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