fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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