I cockslap morals
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize