if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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