it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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