Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
