I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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