about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
