Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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