I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
