Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
