She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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