If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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