Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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