sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
