it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
