i think my mom watched the whole time
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
