I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
