I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
