Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
