we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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