My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
