Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
