i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
