YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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