I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
