i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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