The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
