my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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