I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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