I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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