well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
