Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
