Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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