Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
