Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I need to calm my uterus...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
