is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize