Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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