theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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