Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
