I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
