Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
