i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
