bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
