R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
