It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
