We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
zippers are such a cool invention
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
