My friends, they love my intelligence
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
