Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
