you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
