We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
